I posted this in a mens group on facebook this week:
Transformation Tuesday… with a twist. I’m here to show you that I fucked up, and fell down… and fell off… and found a way back.
From left to right these photos show some progress, and some roadblocks.
I have seen a lot of people posting here and elsewhere about how they had lost a lot of weight, hit a roadblock, and then gained a lot of weight back.
At my biggest, I was 410# … that’s where the scale stopped. So who knows, and I had only decided to get on the scale and take a photo AFTER I had started eating differently and working out.
I was killing myself, and decided I didn’t want to be suicidal. YOU know what i’m talkin about.
The second photo on the bottom is a 5k I ‘ran’ when i was like 395 or something. It took me almost an hour… or was it MORE than an hour? I can’t remember. I was the last person to cross.
The top photo of that is last years race. I was 280# and I did it in about 43 minutes. Still not impressive. But not bad for a fat kid.
The next photo is a progress photo that shows me 1 year after the other. June 2017 and 2018.
In around February 2018, I reached a goal weight. 250#. It was crazy. I could start to see my abs. Pecs. Biceps… all that shit again for the first time since I was a strongman and an athlete 5 years before. My lean mass is 200# currently. So 250 is pretty light for me.
Then in March 2018… I got injured, then I got injured again. I didn’t gain much. But it started the process and set me up for failure. Because what happened next was, I got sick over and over and over. The house I was renting, had a mold infestation and it wasn’t visible until late summer.
During that time I went from 250# to about 290#.
I was working out, but I wasn’t eating right. I was constantly trying to comfort my shitty feeling body with comfort foods. Making exceptions. Making bad decisions.
I gained even MORE weight. Eventually up to 326#. FUCK.
I also have PTSD and depression. PTSD from some shit that happened while I was in the Marine corps.
The fatter I am, the more depression and PTSD get to play.
It’s a downward spiral I’m sure many of you are familiar with.
As you can see, the photo of me at 250, and the photo of me right now on the far right… i’m 295. December 27th I was 326#.
I changed my trajectory, again. Just like a lot of you guys.
It isn’t keto that makes us better people, it’s our ability to look at ourselves and want better for ourselves.
I began tracking EVERYTHING. And I have a shit ton of information and data on myself. I have identified ‘triggers’ and behaviors that tell me that I am not doing great, and need to adjust.
I have friends, and people I am close to that also know what to look for, and I have given them permission (begged them to) to call me out in as clear a way as they are able, and it doesn’t matter to me if it’s harsh.
Empowering those around us to call us out, and inform us when they see us being unhealthy is paramount.
How many of you got fatter, and fatter, and fatter…. (I know Mike Gorman went through, i remember that story) and no one had a damn thing to say when you were eating a half a cake, or 2 pints of ice cream, or 4 double cheese burgers from mcdonalds, with fries… and more fries?
A big part of that is because people don’t know HOW to communicate to us that we are killing ourselves. So give them the tools.
Tools for you. Tools for them.
I am down from 326# to 295# (as of this morning) in approximately 31 days. I’ve lost more weight in that amount of time before. This isn’t news to me.
You can do it too and many of you have and crushed it hard only to fall down, and feel like a failure.
I’m here to tell you this… falling down is part of the process.
Embrace that. Embrace your failures, and your missteps and your fuck ups. Learn from them, and treasure them, and never forget them.
Make note of them, and be sure you document that shit. Don’t just try and forget it, or cover it up.
Kill shame. Get rid of it.
The best thing you can do is YOUR best, and that should include reaching out to others for help.
I wish you the best fellow fat kids. Rise above. Overcome.